Thursday 28 February 2013

First Blog Rant...

Warning: If you don't want to read, feel free to move on. I am going to vent because I am sick of tippy toeing around certain women in FF. I know MANY people are.

Okay so, yesterday I was in my chat forum and I made a comment to one of the young women who recently found out that she is expecting. I told her she was "lucky to be pregnant."  I stand by that. While she had a number of fertility treatments (IUI, IVF, shot etc) she was STILL successful in conceiving a baby. I have so many friends that have spent thousands of dollars on IVF and IUI, had hundreds of shots  and have not managed to conceive a baby or did and lost theirs. I also have another friend of mind who can get pregnant easily but, because of so many immune and genetic issues, her pregnancies end in loss. If you are too "cranky" to be in chat and you are going to use it as an outlet to be rude, it is simple, leave. There is no science to it. If you find that, "people just tend to piss you off on there and you can't really relate to them at all", then stay away. It is a support group. I stand by every single woman who struggles and if you don't, then LEAVE. You obviously have "outgrown" your need for the women in there so do everyone a favor and find somewhere else to be a jerk.

And another thing, when I had my loss back in September, this person made ME feel like a piece of crap because I was hurting. Her comment was "at least you got pregnant."  And that is supposed to make it better? After three years of trying, we miraculously manged a natural pregnancy and had the joy and excitement of a baby only to LOSE it. My hurt was justified and your comment was insensitive and cruel.

I am just sick and tired of feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around this person because she is so moody and bitter about her experiences. And yes, bitter is the word I am looking for. Stop bitching about your battle scars and embrace them. You are pregnant. Yes, you have had a long, hard journey. YES, you have. So have I. So have so many women and still they have no baby. I am sorry if telling you that you are "lucky" or "blessed" has pissed you off or offended you but give me a break. YOU ARE LUCKY. YOU ARE BLESSED WITH A BEAUTIFUL BABY. Isn't that the end goal of the ttc journey? A perfect little mix of you and your husband? You have it. It is growing inside you and the needles and procedures and heartache are worth it because you are there...

If you leave a rude comment, I will delete it. I won't even take the time to read it. I was courteous and did not leave one on yours.  And for the record, I am done with FF for a while. In the words of a good friends, "you need to focus on you and your babies and stay away from the stress." I have prayed for so long to be here and I am finally expecting two beautiful miracles. I have paused my account and I have no idea when I will go back. I may not at all.
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13 comments:

  1. MegDE201528 February 2013 at 07:44

    xxxx's mama- Love you!

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  2. Unknown28 February 2013 at 07:45

    You too sweets :) You are so right. I need to stay away. I will keep posted reading your blog. Always praying for you. xoxoxox

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  3. Anonymous28 February 2013 at 07:50

    Well said honey. Very true, not a word out of line! love love love you xxxxx

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  4. Lyndsey28 February 2013 at 08:13

    LOVE YOU LOTS MY FELLOW IUI PAL! :0) We have our miracles and now our job is to spread the hope and love to the others girls still waiting for their blessing, luck, dream come true, etc. :0)

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  5. Unknown28 February 2013 at 10:07

    Agreed! Thanks Lynds :) I love my girls and I am soooo grateful for all of their love and support. I will never forget what I have gone through to get this far and I will always be there for my friends but it just needs to be somewhere other than FF :)

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  6. The Burches28 February 2013 at 16:35

    *hugs Steph!!!* I will miss you but you better keep updating me on those babies! I will keep praying for you!!! *burchbaby*

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  7. Unknown28 February 2013 at 16:53

    Ah! Thanks for checking in! I promise you will get updates! I will miss you too! And I want updates on you too!!! Xoxoxox

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  8. Stephanie28 February 2013 at 18:26

    Well, if you wish me to delete your blog, that's fine, I don't mind. But, for the record...you weren't the person who said what I was writing about. My blog is a space for me to express my feelings, just as you did yours. But, I really have no hard feelings toward you, so. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it is for the best. Sorry if I somehow made you think that I was talking about you and you took offense. Wasn't my intention. Take care of you!

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    Replies
    1. Stephanie28 February 2013 at 18:32

      Oh, and just so people know, I am Leia on FF. No need to avoid names. I don't mind that either.

      Delete
  9. Unknown1 March 2013 at 06:14

    Thanks for the reply. It doesn't matter who you were talking about really(even though I was one who said it), it bothered me and bothered women I care about as have many of your comments. This is not a place to use names (screen of otherwise) so that was not necessary to get my feelings across. I have been on ff for a long time and I am grateful for the support I have received but it does not feel like tha same place anymore. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy and I hope you enjoy every minute. I know I will.

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    1. Stephanie1 March 2013 at 07:55

      You are welcome. I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't referring to you. And I wanted to apologize because I seemed to have offended you, when that was never my intention.

      I was just not having a good day that day, and if others want to hold that against me, that's up to them, and again, I don't mind. We all have our bay days (especially when pregnant now), and if that can't be understood, then that's just the way it is.

      But, I've always tried to be supportive, and I am sorry that it doesn't seem that way.

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  10. Anonymous2 March 2013 at 13:09

    Well said! We all have battle scars in the infertility community, some more than others. When your struggles finally result in a success, you are lucky or blessed! We all see your success stories and build hope of our struggles paying off one day. That is not meant to be a comment to degrade your struggles or demean your efforts, but rather congratulate you for reaching the success that so many of us have yet to reach. I personally am proud of my battle scars, and when I reach that success one day I will be the first to say "Hell yea I'm lucky" because I will know that it isn't the case for far too many other couples out there.

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  11. Unknown2 March 2013 at 13:19

    Xo It will happen for you girl. I know it will. You have another round of IVF coming up and this is it... I can feel it. You are one of the people I was talking about :) xo love you girl

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