Tuesday 6 November 2012

I think that's the last of them

When hubby and I found out we were expecting, we were less than quiet about it.  We told our close friends and family almost immediately.  The night I got my first positive test, I went to the drug store to buy another test and bumped into my cooperating teacher (the teacher I completed my internship with) and she was in the aisle with the tests. Obviously, she saw I was buying a test and, in the sheer thrill of seeing those lines, I told her I was pregnant. I have not seen her since that day... until today.

Today, I taught at the school I completed my internship in.  I made a beeline for her class in hopes that I would catch her alone to tell her that "things did not work out." When I saw her she was thrilled to see me and hugged me and asked how things were going. I just shook my head and you could tell that she felt awful.  I am so glad that that is the LAST person I need to tell about my loss. It is such a kick in the stomach ever single time. I can guarantee one thing, when I get pregnant again... WHEN not IF.... I will not be so quick to shout it from the rooftops. I am ready to move on from the darkness of my miscarriage... It is time to move forward...

A star cannot shine without darkness





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1 comment:

  1. Lyndsey7 November 2012 at 09:37

    Love you! I was thinking about you on my lunch and I'm glad I stopped by! I still don't know if everyone knows about our loss. I was one to shout it from the rooftops as well. I announced on FB (hubby and I agreed that we wanted to celebrated the fact that we got pregnant and take it a day at a time). I don't regret our decision to share right away but now that I have gone through having to tell people we're no longer pregnant, I have decided we'll wait until we have that nice strong heartbeat before sharing outside of close family. I still cry time to time. Every time I see a cute outfit, a commercial or moment on tv that involves the love of a mother, hearing another BFP story on FB, etc. It's a huge slap in the face. We just have to keep moving forward. We have to find that closure that you have spoken of and move on, never forgetting our angel.

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